Simple Ways to Encourage a Healthy Self-Esteem in Kids

Self-esteem is something that many people need to work on. Some individuals naturally have a healthy self-esteem, but there are many others who struggle with self-image – especially children. Kids may have problems with the way that they see themselves, with their overall confidence in their abilities and with who they are for a number of reasons. Kids are still learning about themselves and their capabilities, and things like bullying may not help. It is important for parents to help their children navigate difficult issues such as these without letting them get too spoiled or over-entitled. So what is a parent to do?

Give them choices.
Showing confidence in your children is a great way to help them build self-esteem, but it also helps to impart them with even simple responsibilities. Allowing your children choices can help them to develop their own unique opinions, thoughts, and ideas. Something simple enough as offering your child a choice of different breakfast dishes to choose from can help them feel empowered and in control of their decisions.

Don’t do everything for them.
It can be difficult for parents to not step in when their child is having difficulties. Whether they are struggling with a puzzle or trying to figure something out, it’s important to exercise patience and allow them to develop a solution on their own. This is important for many reasons. Not only will your children begin to rely on themselves for their own resourcefulness, but they will also develop a strong sense of self. Having things handed to them all the time can be dangerous – it can lead to spoiled attitudes as well as difficulties facing any kind of failure in the future.

Remind them that people are human.
No one is perfect, and people make mistakes. Children may fret over these kinds of trip-ups but mistakes are great opportunities for learning. Things happen, and it is important that children understand that there is always room to improve and to get better. This can help your children when they make mistakes of their own but it can also help them become a better judge of others, as well.

Spend time with your children.
Whether you have one child or many, it is important that you spend one-on-one time with them. Parents are arguably the most important people in a child’s life, and knowing that they are worthy of your undivided attention when appropriate can help them to understand their importance as people. For parents with only one child, it’s important to remember to give your child space and allow them to spend time on their own as well. For parents with multiple kids, it’s important that you spend time with each child individually and that you are careful not to compare your children to one another, either. It’s important that you appreciate each one’s individuality. 

Incorporate positive words. Positive words/phrases can help boost kids self-esteem and self-image.  You should be telling your kids these positive phrases more often…

– good thinking
– keep it up
-you can do it
-nice going
-very proud
-much better
-thank you
-great choice
-well done
-keep trying
-great job
-I believe in you
-way to go
-you make me happy
-give me five
-how kind

 Be sure to check out our parenting resources and personalized storybooks to boost self-esteem while promoting literacy.

How To Build Your Child’s Confidence – Without Spoiling Them!

Building Confidence without Spoiling Kids
Confidence can be powerful. Studies show that confidence is key when it comes to success, whether it be in academics, relationships, or climbing up the career ladder. One of the main things that parents want to teach their children is the power of their own self-confidence. Having a healthy amount can help kids excel at school and make friends with ease. But overconfidence can lead to arrogance, and there is a big difference between these two things.

A recent study conducted by the Ohio State University that increasing narcissistic qualities in children can be attributed to their parents’ treatment of them. Believing that your child can do whatever they set their mind to is completely healthy, but giving them unrealistic ideas in the valuation of their achievements and abilities consistently over time can be an issue. Confidence is defined as “a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities and judgement” whereas the definition of arrogance (or ‘to be arrogant’) is “having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one’s own importance or abilities”. Many parents may know what it is like to feel unsure or unsuccessful and do not want their children to feel this way at all. This is totally understandable – we have all been there. But riding the line between a healthy sense of self-confidence and a strong sense of arrogance can be tricky.

Are you spoiling your kids?

As parents, you want your child to feel special, to feel loved, and to trust in their abilities. A child with healthy self-confidence will have realistic ideas and goals, they will be able to learn from their mistakes, and they will be able to take failings or shortcomings in stride. Not everyone is perfect, and while not doing so well on a school test or not winning a contest can make anyone feel sad, it’s nothing to throw a tantrum over. Parents usually may want to step in and correct their children’s mistakes, do all of the hard work for them, and let them know that they are extremely special.  While your child is certainly an important person they still need to understand that hard work goes a long way, that nobody’s perfect and that they can still pick themselves up after they fall relying on themselves, and not solely on mommy or daddy.

It’s important for parents to realize when they need to let their children deal with issues on their own. That doesn’t mean ignoring their problems completely, though. Show them emotional support and give them advice, but letting mommy or daddy fix every problem can lead to more complicated problems down the road as they get older. Not only will they think that they can do no wrong, but they will not fully understand the concept of consequences or know how to learn and grow from their mistakes.

Building a child’s confidence is still key, especially early on. Encouraging kids to try new things and learn new skills can help a great deal. Personalized children’s books are a great way to get kids confident in their reading skills and can even help kids when it comes to self-actualizing and setting goals for themselves. When kids see the book versions of themselves accomplishing great things and saving the day, they can better imagine achieving the same things in their everyday lives. Personalized books can help kids when it comes to learning, for example learning to use the potty, learning a new sport or simply reading on their own. These are all activities that kids learn at a young age and some may struggle with it, especially when they first start out. It can be easy to get discouraged, but it’s important not to excuse or ignore these feelings. Teaching kids to work through these difficult feelings and empowering them with the idea that they can accomplish great things with practice and hard work can be invaluable to their self-confidence for life.

In addition to introducing kids to personalized books, there are several things you can do to help their self-esteem and confidence without encouraging arrogance. Sometimes, when your children fall (whether literally or figuratively), you just have to let them fall. Be there for them when they do, but kids need to learn that actions have consequences. This perpetuates the idea that kids are responsible for their actions, so they should learn to be held accountable and do so in a healthy way. Giving kids chores and tasks helps too, it not only makes them a working member of the family but it gives them a sense of responsibility. Challenging kids is important, too. Making things too easy for them will not only make them spoiled, but they will not know how to learn and grow as a person. Encourage them to pick up a new skill or to get better and perfect one that they already have. Listening to their thoughts and feelings is vital as well. Not only can doing so strengthen your relationship, but it provides parents with the opportunity to learn about their child’s fears, insecurities and can allow them a time to vent. Expressing emotion is vital to understanding emotion. It helps kids grow and learn what some of their actual strengths are.

It may be difficult as a parent to watch your child go through difficulties, but helping them through it instead of sweeping it under the rug can do a lot for their character. They will be able to build a healthy sense of self-confidence that they can rely on instead of falling back on an unrealistic view of themselves that may only hurt in the long run.

10 Things Kids Want Their Parents To Do With Them

Parent and child quality time is vital to every kid’s development and self-worth. It helps build character, builds a personal relationship between child and parent and helps kids form lasting and meaningful relationships with others as they grow older. There are countless benefits to this quality time and even kids know how important it can be. When kids tell their parents what they want from them, it does well to listen. Chances are it will benefit and enrich both child and parent in ways beyond measure.
Reading with kids

1.     Read to me! Reading is a wonderful way to spend personal time with children. Sharing this pastime helps kids develop an interest in and a love for reading, which can drastically help their academic success and promote a lifelong love of learning. Sharing a book together creates special memories that both parent and child will cherish forever. Personalized books from KD Novelties, can help create more unique reading memories and unique experiences to share with one another.

2.     Tuck me in at night and tell me stories! Sending kids off to bed with a proper goodnight is very personal and helps build an intimate relationship that will help kids as they grow older by helping them create meaningful relationships. Not only that, but it will help parents and children have meaningful relationships together that will last. Telling kids stories about when their parents were young gives them an idea of their parents childhood and will help bring them closer through these special personal moments shared.
3.     Play more often! Playing with kids and allowing them to play more can actually help their creativity and individuality. Giving their imagination exercise helps them develop key skills and by parents playing along with them, gives them an opportunity to teach them valuable lessons, in a fun atmosphere, while creating memories together.
4.     Spend more time with me, not just with my other brothers and sisters! Spending quality time with kids should be an individual experience. While it is still important to spend time as a family, spending time with each child individually helps develop their self worth and their unique sense of self. It also shows them that their parents care about who they are, what they like, and what makes them a special individual.
5.     Talk to me at dinner! Kids really benefit from conversation. Asking them about their day and hearing about their parents’ days help them feel like part of the family, and not just a kid. This also helps them develop confidence in their thoughts and feelings knowing that they are valued.
6.     Give me hugs and kisses more often! Showing affection regularly shows kids that they are loved and valued. Plus it always feels nice to know that someone cares, at any age.

Hugging makes kids feel special

7.     Discipline me when I need it! It may sound odd, but disciplining children when it is deserved shows that their parents care about their actions and decisions. This active role teaches kids about consequence and gives their fast developing lives more meaning and value. Give them reasons for the discipline and especially because you care. They won’t like it in the beginning but will be very thankful in the end.
8.     Share some of my favorite things with me! When parents spend time watching their children’s favorite shows, listening to their favorite music, and reading their favorite books with them, kids feel that their opinions are valued. It is also a great way to spend some quality time and grow close, getting to know what one another likes and dislikes.
9.     Leave me notes! Leaving personal messages in lunch bags or in their pockets when kids go off to school or daycare remind them that they are being thought of and that someone loves them.
10.  Take care of me and make sure I am healthy! Feeding kids healthy foods and being mindful of their health and well-being not only shows them that their parents care but it also helps them learn to take care of themselves as they grow older.

Teaching children valuable lessons while also building a strong personal bond with them will not only help them develop, but will enrich both parties involved. We urge you to listen to what your kids are saying and keep these pointers in mind.