What to Do When Your Child Refuses to Go to School

Refusal to go to school

It can be difficult dealing with a child that just does not want to go to school. Change in routine, atmosphere and the people around them can be disconcerting and scary for them to handle all at once. This sort of big change can be scary for them and they can see the act of going to school as a negative thing. They may call school boring, saying that they don’t like their teachers, or that they don’t like the other children in class simply because its all new to them. The problem usually starts at the start of a new year for example making the transition to a new school.  An illness or the loss of a family member may also set off school refusal.  The goal is to find out why the refusal is happening to the child. Just how many children are affected is still unclear with estimates varying from 5% to 28%.  According to the Anxiety Disorders Association of America, this problem usually occurs in children ages 5 to 6, and again between the ages of 10 and 11.

If you are having a hard time convincing your kids to give school a try, there are some ways to do so without driving yourself crazy.

When children refuse to go to school

Presenting your child with a personalized book on the subject can easily help ease them into approaching the subject as well as encouraging them to give school a chance. “School is Fun” is a personalized story from KD Novelties that places your child in school and has them solving a mystery with their new classmates. Showing kids that school does not have to be boring or scary can help them get excited to go to school for real. Personalized books for kids on a subject that they are trying to deal with in real life has shown to help motivate kids and instill them with the confidence they need to overcome their obstacles. For instance, studies have shown that presenting a child with a book on potty training while they are learning to do so can help motivate them to keep trying and inspires them to solve their problems on their own.

 Another option is to set up a goal and reward system. If they do not wish to go to school because it is new and they have not gone yet, it can be difficult to convince them to just give it a try, but by giving them a goal and promising a reward or a treat, they might be more willing to give it a try. With this sort of incentive, kids are more likely to be willing to give school a try and be on their best behavior. During this time period, they may even grow so accustomed to school as a routine, especially after a week or two, that they may not need another incentive.

Lastly if the reward system does not work reach out to professionals for help.  Treatment providers working with kids who have school refusal will often use cognitive behavioral therapy, which helps kids learn to manage their anxious thoughts and face their fears. With therapy kids can get the chance to see that they can attend school without anxiety or fear.